I sit beside the window and its past midnight. The stunning moon doesn’t seem to communicate today. The cords inside of my heart are playing some eerie tunes. I don’t feel like laughing or smiling or crying. It’s all blank. I see nothing. I feel nothing. I hear nothing. The very familiar feelings I possess for you are deserting me…I couldn’t afford this. This is just not right. Not the way I want it to be. Not the way you want it to be. Not the way WE want it be.
I wonder if that’s how you want things to end. I don’t. I don’t want it to end ever. You know, I love you truly, deeply and madly. Just like, I love my own sister. Losing you is a nightmare. It’s like a death of someone...a suicide...it will bring grief and more of it to me...
Things change…We all change. You used to say, "Nothing is permanent"...Remember?? We have our difficult times. We have those moments when we want to cry and live in solitude but that’s temporary. I don’t want you to play with yourself. I don’t want you to be this way. If that soothes your pain, go ahead. It’s solely your life but remember that assuming everything on your own and the quick conclusion in the state of mind you’re will make things worse.
You know, I am hurt. Even though it was just “something” but it had a deep meaning. I have no words for what you said. If that’s how you want it to be honey, be that way. I won’t force. I can’t. I feel like I have no right to do that. But don’t forget my crazy nature. I could break all the barriers and do something really bizarre [I’m hoping not to]. Only a few days back I had told you about taking in bullets…and I meant it…Expect the unexpected here!
I’m lost. I feel stuck. I wish I could just pull your braid, haul your gown, slap on your face, seize your bigbag, curse Ab***, and bring you back to the world of us and our stupidities. I wish I could do that. I wish…Have we gone too far? Or there is still hope?
Always remember you are one of the three very special people in my life. I have always loved you more than almost anyone. If it ends like this, I certainly would NEVER let ANYONE get this close to me.
God bless you, meri jan.
I wonder if that’s how you want things to end. I don’t. I don’t want it to end ever. You know, I love you truly, deeply and madly. Just like, I love my own sister. Losing you is a nightmare. It’s like a death of someone...a suicide...it will bring grief and more of it to me...
Things change…We all change. You used to say, "Nothing is permanent"...Remember?? We have our difficult times. We have those moments when we want to cry and live in solitude but that’s temporary. I don’t want you to play with yourself. I don’t want you to be this way. If that soothes your pain, go ahead. It’s solely your life but remember that assuming everything on your own and the quick conclusion in the state of mind you’re will make things worse.
You know, I am hurt. Even though it was just “something” but it had a deep meaning. I have no words for what you said. If that’s how you want it to be honey, be that way. I won’t force. I can’t. I feel like I have no right to do that. But don’t forget my crazy nature. I could break all the barriers and do something really bizarre [I’m hoping not to]. Only a few days back I had told you about taking in bullets…and I meant it…Expect the unexpected here!
I’m lost. I feel stuck. I wish I could just pull your braid, haul your gown, slap on your face, seize your bigbag, curse Ab***, and bring you back to the world of us and our stupidities. I wish I could do that. I wish…Have we gone too far? Or there is still hope?
Always remember you are one of the three very special people in my life. I have always loved you more than almost anyone. If it ends like this, I certainly would NEVER let ANYONE get this close to me.
God bless you, meri jan.
7 comments:
Your post is really deep . . . . Hey kid, nothing happens the way we want it, its all His will what He assigns for us as our destiny. . . Mostly our destiny is defined . . . Everything will be ok . . . And suno loved the END . . . .
and my little princess has bloomed into a queen :)
love your words as they have so much of emotion and wisdom. yes this is comin from an incurably mad person :)
but i enjoy my insanity and i hope and pray you hav more love given to you than you think :)
mwah
:(
I am sorry. You know me, I speak without thinking. I love without measuring. I told you not to take my words seriously, specially when you know what I am going through!
It's not the end, it's just a turn.
Remember NO GOOD BYES, so cheer up! :)
Take care
And remember life is full of people they come and go and those who don't make it to the future, it's always for a reason.
Cheer up. :)
So wise and patient and loving. Whoever this post is for should be so thankful to have you =]
wow. amazing post. I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for commenting on my blog. Yeah I'm kinda scared to dye my hair blue but you only live once, may as well make the best you can of it.
Yeah. Clones suck. Originality forever!! Hi-five! Feel free to check out my blog again if you can.
Wow... *amazed* Those was beautifully written...but very sad ):
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